Skip to main content

Diary entry

 Today I woke up at night ? Ya my day started at 2:30 am as I woke from a nightmare. After a while I didn't remembered it distinctly but there was a creep roach monster troubling me in the dream and hence my day began. First of all I turned my lights opened the windows and checked upon my room thoroughly every slight bit of murmuring and disorientation would freak me out fortunately none of that shit happened. I glanced over the window looking at the building adjacent to me everything was quite peaceful out there. No burglary, no murder nothing unlike movies where arbitrarily our main protagonist wakes and sees a catastrophe screaming for a hero's adventure to begin, anyway nothing of that stuff happened. I wanted to look at night sky but all these buildings engulfed my vision towards the infinite bounding with it's confines. By the way I have this weird habit of drawing metaphors from the most mundane and trivial things like the arrangement of a garland and the series of songs that I listen and what kind of stories it's telling me that's why I  probably have an OCD it's not my desire for order that's causing it but my will to escape from it's jaws. I found this whole setting so metaphorical like the buildings are obstacles that are hindering me to reach the infinite. Our mortality, weaknesses and biases are the very things that gives us directions of our lives and at the same time entraps us into it. Maybe that's the reason why one always seek for conformity and order so that they could get away with their ambiguity of life and on the contrary we supposedly enslaved birds are always seeking to be free coz we are bored with our stable life that we are provide with by virtue of our genetic lottery. Bro I know I always tends to be philosophical but there are certain animalistic traits that even we can't escape from and that is our thirst for mating and that's the thing which was enticing me to stay awake all night and browse through many adult sites searching for something intensively seductive which was spared to be watch from simultaneously time was passing me by and I heard a knock on the door. "Wake up  it's 9:30 am and your sleeping" . This fucked me up big time I saw the clock and it was actually the same time . With my face dried up and bit of sleepiness I opened my door and asked my mom for a coffee before I go to my college, she agreed and I continued on with my daily chores thinking about complex topics at the same time . Finally getting myself ready I went to the kitchen and rushed to my college and slept there and that's how my day went 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

 Always feeling unsure she leaves. Maybe it's her fault. Her structure is dismantled. With her constant array of doubts. Always injuring herself with self assaults. Innumerable reasons she count. For her to be non existent in this drought. One day she seeked all the pleasures she brought. But filling herself with all the hollowness she flew. Up in the sky becoming a symbol of guiding light. She felt ecstatic and sedated. Mitigating all worries she elated. But she never knew why she was aloof. She gradually started to feel despair. There was nobody beside to make her beware. Fear of the unknown always haunted her. As everybody was gazing her with the feeling of awe and dismay. But air stated to seep out through the layers of her bloated surface. Which dictated her journey from becoming a prayer to prey.
Post a Comment
Read more

Musings of the dark

 Looking at the balcony of my house I always tend to think about various forms of life which co exists in this world. Each having their own stories, agendas, problems and their own perspectives to look at world some more finely developed others poorly so , some being more rigid on their philosophies others being to vague about it. Looking down from  here I can see tiny, miniscule people having supposedly higher sense of self been totally oblivious about their own demise which could manifest in so many forms and could quickly cease their existence, been above everybody else I realize how inconsequential their lives are still they are trying to reach me , trying to rescue me from whom I ask.. I  standing above everybody else could see the futility of their life. There are certain things that i want to convey them but they misinterpret it into something else causing more chaos and havoc down there. Some are trying to reach me by stacking corpses of the people hoping they could eventually
Post a Comment
Read more

Shadow

 My shadow talks to me all night. Showing my life in hindsight  All the things that I missed. All the values that I dismissed. All the friendships that I broke  Just for the sake of fulfilling this whole. Whose thirst never quenches  Why you always try to pursue me? He asks.  Amongst all the masses wearing masks. I have got nothing except emptiness for you. Always giving your ego bruise. I said smilingly. That's what I always wanted from you. To make you realize our powers that we bestow. I lend my hands to him. He was hesitant at first. But gradually our hands started to merge. His shadow started to dim. Forming a gleaming lightening. Forging with me. We finally attained our ultimate bliss.
Post a Comment
Read more