Tales of contempt

 He woke up from last night's ordeal. Nightmares crippled over him , his sleep cycle was gradually diminishing. He was  reluctant to sleep even during those times where he was feeling tired and weary. Those nightmares showed him things which were disgusting enough to make the strongest person puke. It was not just horrifying but it unraveled certain aspects of him which he was unaware of and it seemed true to him. He rose from his bed uncovering the bed sheets that draped him and sat on a wooden arm chair placed besides his bed. It was a chilling night the whole street froze to dead, just a street light illuminating its deadness by showering lights on a dead dog. He watched all this sitting on his armchair as he was gazing through his window pane. His room was quite small, things were congested in it like the components of finely fabricated royal watch. Although everything looked perfect like symmetry but something was quite missing just like his head space which wandered over different possibilities and plans for each day as the sun and moon trailed over the sky. Each time looking over the same window pane on his armchair, he was not even looking at the streets in particular those empty streets were canvas to lay over his strategic games that he played over his life. The streets were his playground where he played and wrestled with his plans and ideas. A note was always supposed to be clenched in his hand where he wrote everything that qualified the tests of his amusement park only to get it discarded by tests of time which despised all his plans. But this time there was nothing in his hand just his shallow eyes adsorbing everything that was around him.

A thud sound reverberated across his narrow room shrieking him he turned his neck and cried " What happened now?". A plump old man appeared from the oblivion emerged, he was holding a candle with him gently placing it on the desk aside he went nearer to him and whispered " Sir, we are trying our best to get you out of this gloom , what we want is your belief that you extinguished during this journey. I understand its a tiresome journey but please believe you are going to come out of it I have been trying to give you medications over the past 12 hours but like an annoyed kid you are hesitating to take. Without this medications nothing would cure you". He looked at the old man smilingly and said " Its rather true that all hell broke loose in my life and frankly speaking  I am tired , tired of every new journey I have ever taken .  Blank slate of cold murderous time butchered it all. But like a fool I always curated new desires and missions only to see them getting massacred by time and my conscience. Everything will end its a frightening realization but that's what life's , all about always we painted this bank canvas of life with social constructs, narratives always cheering us to breathe in this claustrophobia. Does it even make sense for eternity for it we just preserved food specimens which he would devour or spit out. Lately I have realized that there is no escape from getting looted or sacrificed, Okay so I will get out of this ordeal but then what. Again something will pop up from nowhere challenging me. I am ready to face it and I proved my strength several times and I am quite sure that we can do this time too but my question is does it even matter?'"

Waiter with a perplexing look on his eyes as though he caught a ghost ran hurriedly into the oblivion, a constant stream of voice ran along the room been disturbed by the noises he went over the edge of room and locked it. Thud Thud this sounds again annoyed him getting more louder with each moment. " Get the hell out of here" he shouted. For a while everything became quite but after a while murmurs began to upsurge like a bee stinking around his temples he rose again punching his clenched fist against the wall whose reverberations itself swept the murmurs. Tears rolled down his eyes as lament and guilt overrode over his anger " Why do I do this " he said. Gush of tears sprouted from his eyes like a storm reminiscing all his years that trickled down like a stream of stand flowing from a clenched fist. He did bad to everyone for fulfilling his greedy appetite. They all left him now leaving him with his lifeless possessions initially he used it all to make friends have a gateway to royal lifestyle it was a wish that came after a long coming.  He was excited met many people and women enjoyed a lot but they all dissipated leaving few people who he really could trust on they too went by failing to their own mortality. 

" What a wrecked life I lived? It seems annoying to me that I was the one who despised and now I am living through this hell , I thought being rich, famous and adhering to ones contribution to create his legacy was the only thing worth living for. He had done his sacrifices and he got what he always wanted but this didn't satiated him for long , loneliness started to creep again those feelings came again which he was most terrified of like an unwelcomed guest which just seeped inside his mansion.