Musings of the dark

 It was a warm twilight time everyone was enjoying, performing their daily routine of walking and playing around the garden. Luscious green trees with its multi colored earrings enclosed the whole garden in its serene captivity. Within its closures were all sort of calming naturally aesthetic ambience which provided people with a sense of sanity in midst of the radically changing times. Its small little world was enough for people to have a soothing time with their family, friends and lovers. Everybody was accompanied by something or someone in the park playing their small little games. Flock of children running around and drenched in their naivety were wrestling with their ambitions, dreams and their little deities and demons but their rough and tumble play seemed to them like a serious play which could be easily investigated by their variability and intensity of emotions as they played.  There was a old man selling candy flosses to people of the park pulling up a smiling face as though somebody is hooking his face to make him smile. His eyes sparkled as he saw the flock coming towards him to buy the candy flosses. Everyone was occupied except her as she was sitting alone on a bench under a banyan tree as though she was waiting for someone, she was one of few people who came up with a sad face amongst the pleased ones.

Her gloomy eyes wandered around the whole landscape but one particular log of wood struck her eyes , she was looking at it as though she was communicating with that log as their eyes met. Engraved design of the intricate trails of the log seemed like an eye, a portal to her which could help her drown into the ocean of her subconscious as she gazed at it, the eye dilated engulfing her scope of vision , she meandered into the veins of portal for while as she saw her life passing by,  each fragment of her past converging into a distant end of the portal , thrusting her towards it like a whirlpool . she came out of it swimming through the white ocean she emancipated into the garden again.

This time everything seemed lucid, more clearer like a distilled water. What was it I ask every time I try to persuade everyone around me heck even myself. A stream of though continued as it elucidates more distinctively to her. What was I doing my whole life? Always picking up wrong people and things . I cant even forgive myself. How could I do it so. So many questions are wandering in my head and I know answers are already present but it seems so vague I tried to held a grasp over it but could never. Wait what's that a child playing with sand but why its intriguing me so much. Eating the dirt ew its disgusting. But as a child we all did that but it never seemed gross but eventually it turned out to be so. Scream of children reverberated as the child's temple attended to their prayers. Clenching sand into his hands but it slipped but not giving any shit he is running towards his folks. 

Just being an observer I guess I should empty this vessel and let the world sink into me. Rarely we do it. Always pressurized to get involve in this chaos to turn it into order just to find it getting dismantled by the collusion of chaos. An old couple walked by her glance one of them was quite distressed as though a catastrophe had hit on her. The other caressed her delicate hands to his, trying to instill sense in her but nothing would have worked as her face suggested a deceased person looks reflecting through her elegant eyes she was weary, loosing grip over her sanity. But his grip over her became firm there is something that's enticing me to observe them like a spur of energy he is enlightening her and she is preying on his energy like a void filled entity. We too seem quite similar as though our consciousness were intertwining or an interplay whatever it is.. But a piercing hush of wind scrapped my blank slate as everybody are howling I don't know what is happening like all this serenity turned into a carnival . Dancing and cheering around amidst this void.